10 Things I'm Learning in This Season of Life
I just graduated college. Just bought a house. Just got married. Just started my first full-time job. All the things in the span of about four months… Talk about change!
Through this change, I’ve been learning a lot about myself, about my relationships, about my purpose, and just about life. So I’ve written 10 of these learnings out in a blog just for you - I hope they help you walk with confidence that you are never alone, my friend. We’re all on a journey of living each day better than the last, and we’re all learning a little bit more each day. May we never stop learning and never stop growing.
So here you have it… 10 things I’m learning in this crazy season of life:
1. You have to embrace each day & own it.
I really honestly could go my whole life wishing and waiting for more or living in what’s behind or ahead of me. And to be honest… I grew up sort of living this way for a long time - always believing that there was more to be had. And to some extent, that’s absolutely true. But sometimes I was so stuck on that “something more” that I forgot to look at the beauty in that specific day - of that time and season I was living in. You have to meet each day with an embrace, because you’ll never get it back. Own it.
2. Having off-days are totally normal & acceptable.
Sometimes your sleep schedule gets wonky, or sometimes you’re really just not feeling like yourself. Let me tell you if you haven’t heard it already - THIS IS 100% OKAY. You are not the only one having an off-day. Some days I’m not very loving, & I struggle with being patient. Other days I feel great, full of energy, life, & zest! But on the days that aren’t so great - don’t feel so guilty. You are not alone, & you are not weird for having them. Just be willing to recognize it and move on from what you’re stuck in.
3. It’s okay to not get things right the first time.
I think there is so much pressure around “finding the right one” or “finding your passion” and getting it right the first time. It takes time for those things. Too often I think we’re searching and trying to “find” the one thing that will finally get us to where we’re “supposed to be” that we forget to just try and explore. You may not love your first job. That first date may be a total flop. But as the great A Cinderella Story movie once said, “Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.”
4. Failure is a good thing.
Speaking of striking out, failure is good. You know why? Because it means you’re actually trying something. Failure means you are actively taking a risk and trying something that maybe you haven’t done before or that is outside of your comfort zone. Keep trying, learn from your mistakes, and use the failures as lessons to keep the needle moving forward.
5. Doubts will come.
Look - I want to be straight with you, because this is what I needed to hear during the past year: Doubts are totally normal. It is okay to doubt. Your story will not look like everyone else’s, so just because Sally found her soulmate on the first date when it took you three years to really figure it out, or just because Jenny found her dream job when you’re still floating around on your fifth try, barely staying afloat, does not mean that you are doing life wrong. Don’t question God’s plan for you just because it doesn’t look like the plans of those around you. Doubts will come, but you have the power to squash them. Don’t feel bad for having those doubts, but really don’t feel bad for squashing them either.
6. You have to make time for the things you love.
Life gets busy, and things pop on the to-do list. Don’t get so caught up in the demands of life that you forget to make time for the things that make your heart beat a little faster. Go have coffee with Grandma. Go bike around the lake. Go visit a place you’ve never been to. Go give your partner a smooch. Make time for the things you love, and enjoy them.
7. There is always more to the story.
It’s very easy to get frustrated with the person who cut you off or the coworker that really snipped at you or the friend that stabbed you in the back… but the truth of the matter is that there is almost always more to the story. We don’t know what people are going through, and we don’t always know how they feel. Instead of being quick to judge or criticize, sometimes you have to take a step back and remember that you are not the writer of their story. So fretting over what they did or said to you does not change the storyline. All you can do is take a deep breath, send up a prayer, and choose positive thinking over anything else. There is always more to the story.
8. You are not everyone’s cup of tea.
Not everyone is going to like you. I know you’ve probably heard this before. But the more you hear it, hopefully the more it will sink in. I still need reminders of this. You are not everyone’s cup of tea, and the more you wrestle with trying to be everyone’s everything, the more you will lose yourself. You are unique, you are special, and you are one of a kind. You can’t control what others think or say, but you can control the focus of your mind. Will you choose to focus on living the life God created you for or living the life Mary down the street says you should? Be you. That is so good enough.
9. The “I don’t know what I want to do with my life” syndrome affects more than just you.
To be honest, we are all trying to figure it out. We’re trying to live our lives the best we can. We’re trying to be the best versions of ourselves. We’re trying to learn and grow and take in more each day. But guess what? There is no one on this planet that has all the answers. You are not the only one who does not know what they want to be when they grow up. So show up for what today has to bring, give it your best, learn from it, and make tomorrow even better.
10. There will always be something you don’t have.
There will always be some quality you wish you possessed, some feature you wish you had, some gadget or item you wish you owned, or some experience you wish you enjoyed. Don’t live in the wishes. Don’t live in the what-ifs. Don’t be so busy looking right or left that you forget what’s in front of you. God’s got you right here right now for a reason. Live in that. Make the most of it. Don’t be so fixated on what you don’t have that you miss out on what you do.
So there you have it - 10 things I’m learning in this wild, fun season of mine. I hope you are able to reflect on the things you’re learning right now too and make the most of whatever season you happen to be in.
Embrace today, my friend. You are right where you need to be.